Donna Martin graduates! We mean, David Cook won American Idol! It could easily have been 1993 last night on a finale that featured Davids Cook and Archuleta wearing matching wallet chains, Seal, a George Michael medley, a Bryan Adams appearance, and a coronation song straight from the Goo Goo Dolls‘ playbook. Highlights included onetime Idol hopeful Mikalah Gordon’s interview with Cook’s music teacher (”I feel good!” she shouted) and Cook’s beard-off with ZZ Top`. Did we think Cook was going to pull out the victory after taking some risks Tuesday night? Not exactly. But Idol viewers voted for change Tuesday night (Archuleta is clearly the Hillary Clinton of Idol, is he not?). For the last time this season, here are the finale’s best moments in five quick clips:
5. Archuleta and Cook’s dueling Risky Business Guitar Hero ads: didn’t you think the second one was going to end with Chris Hanson in a kitchen?
4. If only Robin Williams had worked the term “boom-boom in your pull-up” into his dreadful “comedy” act Idol Gives Back night.
3. Sanjaya Malakar: officially a punch line.
2. Amanda Overmyer: drunk with a mouth full of beer nuts. David Hernandez: naaaaked! Plus, a very sober moment from George Michael.
1. Thanks to our TiVos cutting off, season seven’s ending was a lot like The Sopranos.