If anyone has a handle on peddling items dripping in cheese, it's the folks at 7-11 -- which explains why Jessica Simpson has chosen the junk-food haven as the exclusive distributor for her upcoming Christmas CD. The disc, described as a limited-edition effort -- a turn of phrase often used by people who're sweating profusely while watching truckloads of material overrun by warrens of dust bunnies -- is set to sell for eight bucks (and buyers won't even have to pick up a breakfast burrito to take advantage of the deal). While we're sure some of you are puzzled as to why Jess chose not to join the bevy of artists that've gone the Starbuck's route, we can't imagine the godmother of gassy eruptions sitting down with an iced chai when there's perfectly good Mister Pibb out there to be had . . .
In what we'd like to chalk up to a sudden attack of conscience -- or, at the very least, a newly acquired sense of good taste -- Jennifer Lopez has apparently undertaken a campaign to have her "Jenny From the Block" video consigned to the pop culture scrapheap once and for all. According to the folks at MTV, the diva is asking -- a little late, if you ask us -- that the clip be permanently pulled from rotation because she can no longer bear to see images of herself cavorting with one-time significant other Ben Affleck. We're presuming her next move will be to ask that Wynonna be permanently banned from The Oprah Winfrey Show, since her very name conjures up unpleasant memories of Cris Judd, Lopez's longest-standing husband to date . . .
Nurses across Great Britain have decided to take a stand against Christina Aguilera -- a decision that, oddly enough, has nothing to do with the spike in penicillin use that seems to follow in her wake. The Dirrty Girl managed to offend the U.K.'s angels of mercy by appearing in a raunchy ad campaign in which she was depicted as a combination dominatrix-nurse, clad in skin-tight white vinyl and brandishing a big ol' syringe. The image was supposed to illustrate the "naughty and nice" dichotomy currently being peddled by Skechers, who also posed her as a spank-happy teacher and a cop with a penchant for the rough stuff. Oddly, representatives of those professions had no problem with being portrayed as wannabe sex-workers -- making us far more interested in being busted for a misdemeanor in the not-too-distant future . . .
Earth's gradual evolution into Bizarro World seems to be continuing apace, judging by word out of Scotland that a rock musician went to great lengths to avoid having a narcotics-laced needle jabbed into him. The syringe-ophobic behavior in question was displayed by Travis frontman Fran Healy, who was playing an impromptu outdoor gig in Glasgow on behalf of a homeless charity when he was threatened by a man brandishing a needle and shouting, "Give me money for a fix!" Healey dodged the raving loon, and the man was eventually carted off by security, but we still have to wonder why he didn't, as Timothy Leary once corrected Nancy Reagan, simply "just say no . . . thank you."